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Last year was a bit of an awakening for me. I learned the uncomfortable way that white people really don’t go hard for civil rights and human rights like they claim they do. Many would love to say and brag they would’ve been on the bridge with Dr. King. They would’ve openly had Black friends back then. They love to paint a picture of themselves in a White Savior type of way.
But when it comes down to it – no, they wouldn’t have.
A lot of my former white friends were silent on the George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery, and Breonna Taylor protests. I say former because I dropped them. The ones I’m still cool with are straddling the fence. They’re supportive but really, no, they’re not.
It gets weird when you’re friends with these women (all white, I should add) because their lack of awareness puts a person in a weird position. Are we really friends because we’re cool or are we friends because I’m meeting a quota of yours?
It reminds me of two women I know. For sake of privacy, I’ll change their names to Becca and Susan. Yes, all the puns and snarkiness intended.
So, let’s start with Becca. She’s very liberal. She’s very left. She’s a feminist in the highest order. When the riots happened last year, she shielded her daughter from it, stating she was too young to understand. Yet, she got mad at the city because they weren’t honoring George Floyd. Make it make sense.
My other friend, Susan, is just like Becca. In fact, I think Becca will eventually turn into Susan as she gets older. Susan’s reaction to everything last year? Nothing. What’s worse is Susan has a biracial son. I’m not entirely sure what she’s teaching him, if she’s teaching him anything.
As I carefully and silently watched my friends act a certain way, I wondered about my relationships with these women and others. Were we really friends? Yeah, we went over to each other’s homes, had lunch together, may have even gone shopping together. But when it came to people who look like me – and in Susan’s case, who look just like her son – there was no action.
I wondered if white people, namely white women, have Terms and Conditions with their friendships and support?
You see, all websites have terms and conditions. It’s that little thing that most people don’t read and a lot forget about until there’s trouble. If you don’t abide by them, they can easily ban you from there.
When it comes to activism, white people have Terms and Conditions.
Let me be clear – I’m not supporting burning down property, looting, etc. Nor am I implying that. However, while white people are very vocal against the aforementioned, they are very slow in what we should do instead.
I have suggested buying from a Black-owned business. I have made recommendations to several Black charities and organizations they can support. I also said they could put some money into a Black-owned bank, if they really want to be about that life.
No one followed through on any of it. Many will opt to do nothing.
I feel white people think if they have at least one Black friend (partner, child, family member), that shows they’re not racist, they don’t hold racist ideologies. People really don’t understand, you can have all of that, and still be a regular viewer of Fox News.
It reminds me white people like a certain type of Negro – the meek and mild type. They don’t like the ones that are loud and boisterous unless they’re playing the sidekick. They don’t like the ones who are willing to put their lives on the line to change what’s wrong.
White people like House Niggers. They just do. They like the step and fetch ‘em, Yes Sir, Yes Ma’am, I’ll shine yo shoes any way you like, Massa! type of Negro. And it became so obvious last year that’s how the majority of them felt. And yes, even my in-laws.
Neither Becca or Susan supported me last year and they knew how I was affected. Yet, these same women hurried up to post something about Dr. King on his birthday, because again, Dr. King meets the Terms and Conditions for white people to claim they’re not racist. But the other 364 days of the year is up for grabs.
I don’t even talk to Becca, and Susan, I’m keeping a distance from. Our children are friends so it makes shunning her completely a bit hard. I also don’t have to spend a lot of time with Susan, either. Susan, while unproblematic for the most part, has made some interesting comments that have led me to believe she wants to raise her biracial son to be a certain type of Negro. Good luck to that woman.
I’m not saying all white people are bad, but many white people tend to downplay systemic racism a whole lot. And it makes sense – if you’ve benefitted from it, why would you be against it? It also means as you realize you have privilege you’re not checking, you might want to stop seeking a Black person to meet a quota you have.
If you refuse to support Black people in their fight for justice and equality, we’re nothing but entertainment for you.
